The sun, warm, bright, came up over the mountains.
Birds chirped, lawnmowers buzzed, and, with the colossal creaking and squeaking something only the size and make of a parade balloon could make, Geo sat up from the field he’d been tethered in next to his house. It had been a weird, weird year – and, as the parade raccoon gently leaned down to wish his husband good morning, he wondered if today would get any weirder.
“Heading out?” Brighton asked, leaning against the windowsill. They looked… a little different today, for whatever reason. Shinier, maybe?
“Just into town!” The parade raccoon boomed, offering a little wave.
“Mind picking up some groceries? Oh, and helium?”
“Sure!” Geo replied, waving goodbye. “Be back later!”
The parade raccoon had already started to float away when the last request had processed. Helium?
Huh! Weird, but not any weirder than anything else that’d happened.
It had taken a while to get used to being nearly three stories tall, but, really, once you got the hang of it, it wasn’t so bad. It made sightseeing easy, for example; it also made traveling across town even easier.
Being mostly plastic and helium, Geo merely floated most of the way, gently pushing off with car-sized paws as he drifted into town. Couldn’t beat it for speed, really!
Finally, as he settled in over his usual shopping spot, the parade raccoon waved down a very, very shocked bunny employee who first noticed the vast shadow then glanced up, gazing back up at him with wide, blue eyes.
“Good morning!” Geo boomed, his voice slightly echo-y from, well, being hollow.
“G-Good morning?” The employee balked, taking a few steps back. “Can I, uh, help… you?”
“Yes, actually!” Geo grinned down at the bunny, unfurling a list the size of a mid-size sedan.
The bunny sighed. Long day today, and the shift just started.
His first errand finished, the raccoon wandered across town, mentally checking it off his list; scaring the employees of a party supply store half to death by peeking in through their skylight and picking up his order of a pallet of helium tanks and balloons, for, uh, a party, of course! No other reasons, right?
“Thanks!” Geo called down, new purchases hanging from one of his parade tethers as he drifted back to the store just in time to catch the bunny wheeling the last cart of groceries out, who swiftly darted back down the stairs inside when they spotted him.
Huh. Wonder what their problem was!
Leaving a tip, Geo swept the groceries up into his grasp, second errand done!
“And not even a single thing bumped into!” Geo exclaimed happily, huge ringtail knocking a neon sign off of a nearby building.
There was just one last errand on the day’s list – being volunteered for the local parade today!
Wait, since when had he signed up for a parade? Geo squinted at the list written on the back of one of his paws, and shrugged. Oh, well. Might as well, right?
It was actually kind of fun, letting a handler team drag the parade raccoon around town, waving at people as he drifted by. He’d come close to getting stuck between buildings a few times when the wind had picked up, but for the most part he’d had a great time!
He’d even been thanked by the mayor, a little golden star sticker being added to his huge inflatable nose.
“You’re an honorary parade guest!” The mayor had promised, giving the huge raccoon a wink. “Come back any time!”
The trip home was largely uneventful, until he’d finally reached his house… and noticed the huge, tan tail filling much of the street.
Geo dropped their groceries gently on the lawn, peeking down at the massive, squishy coyote nose currently poked out of the front door.
“Brighton?!”
“Mmph.”
“What… happened?”
“MMph?”
Geo couldn’t exactly argue with that.
Plopping down on the yard, the raccoon sighed, listening to the groaning of his inflatable husband and the poor walls he’d filled.
“We’re going to need a bigger house.”